Sunday, August 15, 2010


For a period we had long days of no rain but this past week we've been having a lot more rain.....almost every day.  It's good because we really needed it.  Local crops were beginning to look really bad.  

Yesterday I was getting a baking pan of barbecued chicken out.  I made the mistake of using a loosely crocheted potholder and it burned through to my hand causing me to jerk the pan back causing sauce to splatter on my forearm and hand.  The whole length of my forearm (approx 6 inches long and six inches wide) has a 1st and second degree burn on it and 1st degree on my fingers.  I had some burn cream my doctor gave me last year when I burned myself on the mower, so, with the help of Norm, I was able to treat myself.  If the burn had looked worse, I'd have probably headed for the ER but I figured this I could take care of because I had the stuff to do it anyway and it wasn't as excruciatingly painful as last year. 

I've been struggling emotionally and spiritually lately.  Call it after-effects of post traumatic stress from the cancer.  It is a syndrome that others who have gone through cancer have also experienced.  I know because a dear friend has shared the same thing.  It's like for so many months you are overwhelmed with friendship and it just suddenly stops.  I don't want gifts but it's like, "Where is everybody?"  I don't want to upset anyone by that.  I know it's actually something not even related by like a phenomenon of long-term illnesses.  I guess i am just trying to sort out feelings because that is how I do that.  I write them.  Another thing is that for so many months you are depending on God to get you through and now that it's over I just keep asking myself, "Now what should I do?"  I guess I've been feeling a little lost with that.  I don't know if it's the different perspective but sometimes I just feel like I am treading water.  I've been reading through Isaiah lately but sometimes I just don't feel Him speaking.  And then I wonder what i am doing wrong or what i can do different.  Then this morning our associate pastor had a lady get up to speak and it was almost like it was answer to prayer as she spoke about the burdens we carry.  I was just so touched by what she said.  I just needed to hear what she had to say today.  

I am including below some photos

Norm and I
Tyler, almost 12, and Coby, 5
Lexi, almost 8


Tina said...

I worry sometimes about what will happen "after". It helps to read what others are going through, and I'm hoping I'll be prepared for the "what now?".
Praise God for speaking to you through that woman today! He IS listening and He IS speaking to you!
Take care!

WhiteStone said...

Ohhh, your poor arm! Burns can be painful!

I'm experiencing sort of a letdown, too. Almost feel as if I am treading water and don't know where to swim to! So strange. But at least I'm feeling good physically and I know how to get my head out of the I guess I'd best get to doing just that! LOL

Denise said...

Exactly! You put it so well!

Dee said...

I hear you. Just because you finish treatment and get your hair back - everyone feels you are A-OK. I think it is so tough to totally push a cancer diagnosis to the back of our brains.
Love the photos.

Anonymous said...

Treading water....your not alone.