Down Days

While I’m Waiting

Psalm 5:3, 27:14, 33:20, 37:7, 38:15, 40:1,

Isaiah 30:18, Lamentations 3:24

John Waller

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently,

I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting

I will serve You

While I’m waiting

I will worship

While I’m waiting

I will not faint

I’ll be running the race

Even while I wait

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it’s not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

Today was a hard day emotionally. I think my first mistake was looking for others who survived ovarian cancer yesterday afternoon..... and ran across a blog of a woman who did not.

The blog ws finished by her daughter in law. I read this woman's symptoms and it was the same as what I had that I knew something was wrong. The second stupid mistake was letting Norm read it...... then we were both basket cases. We both vowed we will not read any more. Sigh. You just go from disbelief wishing you could just sweep it under a rug to periods of fear and sadness.
We've been reading a book called "Hope In The Face of Cancer" by Amy Givler, MD. Norm had started it the other day and recommended it. He thought it was good so I started it.
Yesterday Lexi's teacher stopped me after school and told me she was bringing something to our house. It was two boxes of all kinds of cookies. I bet there was over 12 dozen there. It looked like all of the teachers contriuted a dozen of something each. There were so many different kids! My fav's were the choc. covered peanut butter crackers and some cookie with a peanut butter cup in the middle. I think I see a theme here. :)
I've been blessed though by so many women who have contacted me with their cancer stories of survival. It gives me hope. It's so overwhelming just thinking about all the people who have been praying for me. We heave heard from so many who said they were praying and praying in their church..... some people we don't even know. With so many people storming the gates, you'd think He would choose to ure me either by miracle or by modern medicine. I just pray that God gives the doctor's who are possibly studying yet but hopefully done wth it by now, supernatural wisdom as well as the doctor who is treating me. I think my biggest fear is "what if it comes back" or "what if it's someplace else in my body and they don't know it?" I didn't even realize it was there till it was impossible to ignore. I've been having a lot of pain in my right shoulder blade. I had injured my shulder a decade ago, reinjured it a year ago and fell again the day we got the Christmas tree this year. I know it's paranoia but you just wonder if the pain is cancer or that strange spot that "magically appeared" is cancer.
So I keep tying to look up and keep listening to such songs as "While I'm Waiting". I count my blessings.....such as the fact that it was not in my lymph nodes....... Taking one day at a time.